"Say no to anything that feels like it has strings attached or just doesn't feel right. Practice trusting that, as you say no to whatever is depleting, diminishing or harmful, the universe will hear and provide more of what feels healing, appreciative and enhancing." - Robyn Posin, Ph.D.

Boundaries: Saying no without Guilt or Stress

If you were raised to be polite, helpful, and well mannered, you may have a hard time disappointing people. Well-meaning adults can send the wrong message to kids - that being a good person means being easy-going, even at your own expense. It's even harder if you've only seen politeness as "rolling over" and boundaries as bullying or selfishness.

You can say no with respect and compassion. Sometimes this involves changing your mindset - realizing that it isn't selfish to communicate your limits and preferences. In fact, it helps strengthen relationships to know you can be trusted to tell the truth about your feelings.

I love helping people develop that healthy sense of self worth that allows them to say no. I also love the communication element - brainstorming just what to say without explaining or justifying, shaming or blaming, in the simplest way possible.

Setting boundaries can even lead to deeper healing. You may develop the ability tolerate other people's disappointment without guilt that you're doing something wrong or worry that you will be punished. These concerns may have been justified when you were a kid and had no real power. As an adult, it's freeing, empowering, and healing to discover that most people can manage being disappointed just fine.

I would love to support you in discovering that strength and enjoying that freedom.