Depression: When you're lonely for your very own self

"I always thought depression was something I had to fight. You were the first person who asked me to listen to the sadness. It had a lot to teach me. Mostly, it just needed someone to listen without trying to make it go away. Now I know when I feel sad to stop and listen. Sometimes, that's all I need."

Feelings are messengers. If we listen to them, they often subside or morph into other feelings. Listening is how we "tip" the messenger so it can go on to its next job. But our culture is feeling-phobic, especially when it comes to depression, anger and worry. We learn to shut down these feelings or medicate/self-medicate so we don't become a drag. In doing that, we end up abandoning ourselves and adding to the pain.

Learning to listen with compassion, kindness and curiosity can help you discover the message within your depression. Maybe there is a not-good-enough belief that's made it too scary to explore activities or friendships that you long for. Maybe you've been trying to prove yourself to others instead of listening inward to your own curiosity and longings, so you're not really sure what makes you feel happy or content.

Kindness toward yourself may sound cliche, but we have studies that confirm the positive effects. Teaching self-kindness is my superpower - because I had to learn it myself. I know what it's like to be self-critical, to feel "blah" all the time, to wake up with dread at facing another day. I would love to help you learn how to listen deeply to your feelings, then give yourself the care you need to feel loved by your very own self. Out of that love, you may just find depression knocks less and less often, having delivered its message.

Note: I work an every-other-week schedule, so it's not ethical for me to see clients who need intensive care. If you lean toward self-harm or thoughts of suicide, I encourage you to find a therapist who can see you more often.