Social Anxiety: The fear of being judged
"Our work went so far beyond what I got from CBT. I know what to do to soothe myself now. I finally feel like I'm lovable. When other people don't see that, I know it's about them, not me. I never thought I'd get to this place."
We are wired to belong to a tribe. It's how our ancestors survived and raised young. When you have social anxiety, you still feel that drive to find safety in the company of others. But the company of others feels so unsafe. It's a total mind-f@ck.
What's worse, when people sense your unease, they feel uneasy. Awkwardness ensues, and they pull back. It's a vicious cycle.
What I've learned from healing my own insecurity and helping lots of other people with theirs is, to feel a sense of belonging, you first have to belong to yourself. This means learning to:
- Validate yourself instead of doubting yourself.
- Befriend and soothe your inner critic, realizing that the meanness is a cover for fear.
- Explore and discover what you like about yourself, becoming someone you love spending time with.
- Recognize that all judgment is about the person doing the judging, not the one being judged.
- Remind yourself that you're not alone. One in every 14 people has social anxiety. Someone out there could use a friend like you, who understands.
I will coach and mentor you to give yourself the compassion and support you needed to feel secure. As you deepen your self-acceptance, you will feel more comfortable with others. In turn, others will feel more at ease with you. And what was a vicious cycle will become a virtuous cycle - reinforcing a new belief - that there are kind and trustworthy people out there for you.
I would love to find out if how I work might work for you. Please call or schedule a free consultation using the button on the right to learn more.
