Self-Worth Beyond Performing

You've spent your whole life proving yourself through achievement, productivity, being helpful, being attractive, being "good enough."

But no matter what you accomplish, the feeling of worthiness never sticks.

And now, in midlife, you're starting to feel like Sisyphus, exhausted from pushing that boulder up the same f-ing hill.

Is this your life?

• If you're not productive or busy you feel guilty or anxious
• You ignore your body in order to get things done, then pay later with chronic pain
• It takes two weeks of vacation just to unwind. Then it's time to go back to the grind (and that assumes you haven't been checking email the whole time).
• You're terrified of dropping the ball or doing something stupid
• You struggle with imposter syndrome, despite years of experience
• You're exhausted from performing, but you don't know how to stop

Nothing you do will ever make you feel that deep, unshakable sense of self-worth

That's because all of this striving and proving is about trying to win the approval of others.

Self worth has nothing to do with being good enough. It's about treating yourself like you are worthy of love, care, respect, kindness, and belonging - without having to do a single thing to earn it.

How therapy can help

As a former striver, I know what it's like to feel driven. And, I know the driving force is anxiety. Together we can discover how you learned you had to prove yourself all. the. time. I can help you learn how to soothe that underlying anxiety and replace the "what-if?" messages that drive you with calmer, more realistic self-talk.

Instead of allowing your inner critic run you, I will show you how this part is really a frightened child. Then, you can consciously choose the role of nurturing, reassuring adult. As you do, you will build trust in yourself. As the work continues, you will learn the true key to self-esteem: cherishing yourself. This means listening deeply to your needs and desires, honoring your body and soul, setting boundaries to protect your time, and being unfailing kind and gentle with yourself. In this end, this warm, caring treatment is what will teach your anxious brain that you are worthy of love and belonging.