Anxiety
"Our work went so far beyond what I got from CBT. I know exactly what to do to soothe myself now. And I finally feel like I'm lovable. When other people don't see that, I know it's about them, not me. I never thought I'd get to this place. I don't know how to thank you."
Anxiety stems from the belief that you won't be able to handle something difficult. Sometimes it's specific, public speaking, flying, confrontation. Sometimes it's general, a nagging fear of failure even when you have a history of success.
Healing anxiety starts with letting go of the pressure to be perfect, to get things right the first time, to "never let them see you sweat." You'll learn that it's okay to ask for help, to make mistakes, and to be imperfect while you figure things out.
Confidence doesn't come from being perfect or knowing exactly what to do. It comes from giving yourself grace and permission to be a learning, growing, imperfect human. To that end, we might work on:
- Learning mind-body techniques to ease physical symptoms
- Validating yourself instead of doubting or scaring yourself
- Befriending and soothing your inner critic, realizing the meanness is a cover for fear
- Developing an inner ally who is unfailingly kind and supportive
- For social anxiety: recognizing that judgment from others is their issue, not yours
- For anxiety about the safety of the world: identifying what is in your control, taking the steps you can, and creating more safety in your relationship with yourself and those you care about
As you deepen your sense of internal safety and self-acceptance, you will feel more comfortable seeing yourself as someone who is always learning, rather than someone on the verge of failure. This self-acceptance then allows you to begin trusting that you will figure things out, you will find the right help, and you will be able to handle whatever arises when you get there.