How I Work

I am a coach and mentor as much as a therapist, teaching clients how to give themselves the protection, soothing, and cherishing that make them feel deeply loved and lovable from the inside.

The Three Pillars of Secure Attachment

Safety

When you were little you needed to trust that the adults who cared for you wouldn't harm you, and that they were capable of keeping you safe in the world.

If you didn't always feel safe or protected as a kid we might work on:

• Recognizing when situations, people, or requests don't feel right for you
• Learning to say no without guilt, over-explaining, shame, or blame
• Setting boundaries that protect your time, energy, and wellbeing

Soothing/Emotional Regulation

In childhood, you needed your caregivers to read your emotions accurately and respond in ways that helped you feel understood and comforted.

If you didn't get the soothing you needed in childhood, we may work on:

• Developing gentle self-talk that validates rather than criticizes
• Learning mind-body techniques (breathwork, grounding, movement)
• Befriending your inner critic and understanding the fear beneath the meanness
• Creating an inner ally/adult who is unfailingly kind and supportive

Cherishing

As a kid you needed to feel genuinely valued and delighted in, not for your achievements, but for who you were.

If you didn't feel like you were cherished in childhood, we may work on:

• Taking delight in your own comfort, pleasure, and happiness
• Nurturing yourself with food, movement, rest, and affection that help you feel deeply cared for
• Developing genuine warmth and affection for yourself—your quirks, your humor, your whole self

What to Expect

The work we do together builds on itself. Each time you set a boundary without apologizing, you're teaching yourself that your needs matter. Each time you do something kind for yourself, you're learning what it feels like to be cherished.

Over time, these small acts accumulate into a fundamental shift in how you relate to yourself. You start to genuinely appreciate, and even like yourself. You start to trust that you'll be able to handle whatever comes up. More and more, you feel like you're on your own side.

Is This a Good Fit for You?

This approach works best if you:

• Grew up with critical, emotionally unavailable, or immature parents
• Struggle with feeling "never quite good enough" no matter what you achieve
• Have a hard time setting boundaries or asking for what you need
• Give more than you receive and feel resentful about it
• Want to develop genuine self-love

The best way to know if we're a good fit is to talk. I offer a free consultation where you can ask questions, get a sense of my style, and decide if this feels right for you.